“Do not get swallowed up by stress”, How Mrs. Mai Battles Breast Cancer [INTERVIEW]

A Vietnamese Cancer Awareness Event on 10/15/23

This weekend, I was given the opportunity to attend a Vietnamese Cancer Awareness Event in Fremont organized by the Asian American Women's Alliance (AAWA). In this event people of all backgrounds–man and woman, Viet and non-Viet, survivors, patients, or people simply there for support–gather to celebrate by sharing traditional dishes, potting beautiful succulent arrangements, and participating in raffles (To our surprise, my mother and I were able to win 4 raffles in a row). At this event, I was able to meet and interview Mrs. Mai, a survivor of breast cancer and a major leader in the AAWA. Below is an excerpt of our conversation.

Question 1: Can you tell me about your journey as a cancer survivor?

A: Mrs. Mai had been diagnosed with several types of cancer throughout her life, primarily breast cancer. Her fight with cancer lasted around 24 years and although it is not as severe now it is still ongoing with her having had a surgery in the past month. She is involved in the Asian American Women's Alliance, a Vietnamese cancer support group and a fundraising project for poor students in rural Vietnam who want to continue their education. This program was able to successfully raise scholarships for several Vietnamese students with some of the alumni of the program attending school in the United States such as Stanford.

Question 2: How did you find out about your condition?

A: Mrs. Mai had a mammogram done while working at Chevron, the results said she was fine. Companies like Chevron provide periodic breast cancer mammograms to employees based on their birthday. However, she felt a lump underneath her breast and immediately requested to talk to a doctor. The doctor was very busy and could not meet any time soon, however she convinced the office to talk to another doctor for just a couple minutes in between their appointments. She only needed around 5 minutes, but those 5 minutes were very hard to schedule. It turned out that she did have cancer and would undergo a series of treatments. (lumpectomy, chemo, etc.)

Question 3: What were some of the biggest challenges you faced during your treatment and how did you overcome them?

A: Both of Mrs. Mai’s children were at college and her husband was working abroad. Her company offered her an early retirement plan which was a hard decision to make, she still had children to support. Chemo physically was the hardest part. It damages all her soft tissue (gum, fingernails, etc), inflicting severe pain. She commented that doctors do not purposely try to hide information from you, but there is a lot of info which they just don’t have enough time to talk about. (side effects, alternatives, etc) For instance, a breast reconstruction operation is not just to make your body appear “normal”. Its real purpose lies in repairing the hormone imbalance and physical balance in your own body which was damaged because of surgery. Knowing the many types of treatments, costs, alternatives, and side effects is essential. Because of this, she urges many cancer patients to go out of their way to inform themself and to not be afraid of opening up and asking questions.

Question 4: Did you have a support system in place? How did your family and friends contribute to your recovery?

A: Her family was mostly busy as mentioned before, but eventually her daughter did come to live with her and build a support system. She found support groups in her own area which helped answer many questions which she was not able to get answered by doctors. She created her own support system eventually and became a leader who helped inform others with the same situation

Question 5: How did you maintain mental well-being throughout your treatment? 

A: She credits spending time with her daughter as the main reason for her strong mentality throughout her journey. She built support circles, opening up to others with the same condition. She urges patients to “be optimistic, smiles are contagious and sometimes just the physical action can cheer up your own mood”. Keeping up her own health and appearance, socially and physically, was a way to maintain structure and confidence in her life. Mrs. Mai shares to not give up, it may sound cliche but your health and outcome is decided on if you get swallowed up by stress or not. It's not easy to do it, but you have to accept that your outlook on the situation will characterize how you persevere through this journey.

Question 6: How has being a cancer survivor changed your perspective on life, health, and well-being?

A: She has learned to be very optimistic. She thinks “if 1 in 11 women have breast cancer I’m glad that 10 other people don’t have to deal with this disease and that I’m here to fight it”.

Question 7: Can you share any advice or tips for other cancer patients or survivors?

A: Keep up your health, she believes health is a large chunk of the treatment and just as important as the medicine. This includes physical health, eating healthy and exercise, it will help you persevere through your treatment. Talk and socialize with people, build relationships, they’ll help you get through it. Keep yourself looking good, it helps improve morale and confidence. She often teaches people how to still look their best while combating the side effects of chemo. Inform yourself and find a support group dealing with cancer. Do not be afraid to open up and ask questions, it's much better to ask than to be left in the dark.

Question 8: What are some general things you think should be known as a cancer survivor about your experience which many people might be unaware of?

A: Treatment alternatives are often unclear. There are so many resources available which you have to look for yourselves. Doctors don’t have a lot of time to inform patients on every alternative. The support groups and technology for cancer have improved a lot lately, but it is still really hard to get a checkup, even when it is urgent. Sometimes you have to bargain to talk with doctors as they are so low on time.

Question 9: How have remissions been characterized in your experience? If the cancer comes back, how does it affect you?

A: She still undergoes treatment even if her cancer is less severe nowadays. There are still feelings of stress, but her journey has given her confidence.

Question 10: Financially, how easy is it to go through cancer treatment in the U.S.?

A: There are resources everywhere to help fund your cancer treatment. These resources need to be made more clear to everyone and that no one should go through this experience without support.

Mrs. Mai’s story illustrates a profound tale of accessibility, perseverance, and the unwavering desire to help others in times of darkness. Often the mental challenges in cancer patients such as a feeling of shame or loneliness are overlooked. Mrs. Mai shares ideas on accessibility in healthcare and how we all can play a role in the physical and mental wellbeing of others. 

I am happy to have partnered with the AAWA, meeting these wonderful people, and hearing these eye-opening stories on struggles with cancer. I have attached the AAWA’s website here and I would highly recommend checking out their website and social media for upcoming events.